Pain- Love or Pity
by hai-edogawa
Summary: Well its a one short fic no need for summary to this... Say its Conan's Love realization... its modified and corrected... overall the ending and beginning is same


PAIN .

BO is taken down important files are downloaded for antidote sake.

Further Ai was injured in the explosion... she was burned at thighs and arms .

2days later .

Ai is waking down the steps slowly and painfully .

Conan was down in the living room … Hakase is out for some convention.

Conan walks towards Ai and tries to help her descend.

Ai bossily & flatly rejects his help "Stay away Kudo I can help my self".

Conan immediately replies in a little annoyance "Oye... why are you so stubborn see that burnt thigh injury I mean your skin is stretching badly... it will tear of any moment and will hurt more".

Ai immediately replies coldly "That's what I mean... don't help me and hurt more please".

Conan was confused he muttered in surprise "What do you mean?".

Ai smiles and murmurs "I mean what i mean, if you help me it will hurt me more than the injury" .

"What are you implying?" Conan yelled a little to force things on to the actual matter .

Ai stated "I have higher pain than this injury... that will amplify if you help me. A pain because I love you" .

Conan in surprise and shock stated "You what... why?" .

Ai chuckles and replies "Why do you love Mouri-san assume same reason for me to love you" .

Conan was stunned he said "But I love you as a friend I can't love you as a lover...so at-least let me help you at this moment" .

Ai smiles and smirk she says "Why you want to help me huh?... because you pity me and my condition right?" .

Conan stated directly "No...just as a friend I cant leave you in pain" .

"But you will hurt me more if you help me ease this pain" Ai said directly .

"So you are blackmailing me now to love you as a lover?" Conan queried irritated.

"No... if that was the case I would have given suicide threaten instead ….you fool!" Ai remarked as a fact .

"Well but it's not a good thing... I truly want to ease your pain" Conan added wisely .

"So what about the other big pain in my heart?" Ai raised eyebrows pointing at the issue .

[Note: Ai never cried throughout this story]

"So back to square one huh" he exasperated

"No Kudo... its very easy to understand this... why do you want to suffer back the pain during transformation of your true self? …. why?" Ai asked preparing herself for a good debate.

"Because I want to go back to Ran, I love her - she love's me too and I cant see her in pain any more" He answered casually .

"So you mean... you suffer pain because you can't see your loved one in pain... but I am opposite I suffer pain because I want to see you in pain … you are feeling this pain of mine because you have humanity and you love me as a friend... but do you wish to hurt me more & increase this already hurtful pain in my heart" She calmly stated

"Oi Bakaa... that pain can't be healed by me... you will surely find some one else" He reasoned formally

"I want to do the same Kudo... some one who can heal my that pain is only allowed to heal this as well... because even if this is healed my pain will not be relieved... so its a worthless attempt... I can sustain this far easily when I can sustain that big pain... so its similar to your transformation pain sustainability... In short you are not allowed to help me anymore" She smirks confidently

He was left speechless for a certain time...and then he asked "Why don't you stop making the antidote and selfishly become the one and only one eligible to get my love"

She smirks and replies "I would have done that selfishly if I&my love were selfish... my love though its one sided but its a true love...I don't care what you consider me as for having such a useless & meaningless feelings for you... I didn't want to fall in love but my heart wanted pain so it fell for you..."

"Haibaraaaa!...Because I love as a friend... as a best friend...so I can't see you in pain ... if you are in pain I will be in pain as well... so let me help you heal this injury please..." He added formally in a worry

"But what about the big pain in my heart... Why are you forgetting this... can't you see that pain even as a friend" she said in some irritation .

"Yes I can see that... but someone else will heal it!" He added the same lines

"Hence back to square one again... this pain is negligible I can ignore it ...and if it's more... then someone else is truly allowed to help me heal it... therefore you stay away?" She replied as some rehearsed phrases

"Why are you hurting yourself as a fool?" He yelled in wise annoyance

She smirked and added "Fool! You say... love makes you fool!"

"What do you mean?" Immediately he hissed

"Look!... I don't want to hurt myself... that's why I am asking you not to help... and If you think I am a fool to hurt myself this physically... then I was a big fool to fall in love with certain someone even knowing for sure that he can never be mine and hurt myself... In short I am fool coz love made me fool to hurt myself both big pain and this smaller pain as well" She explained in monotone .

"You mean if I help you then your big pain increases... because of your love?" He asked gently.

"Yeah something like that" She made an eye contact and broke it immediately at the end

"Haibara! … okay I give up ….bye... help yourself you stubborn woman... who is bothered for you?" He rudely exclaimed

"Thanks!... see you later" She readily stated with a smile.

"What the... you were kidding right?... let me ease your pain please" He cried

She lazily replied "Then do one thing either love me else stay away"

He immediately answered "Now you are forcing me to love you back!... is it?"

She remarked the actuality "No Kudo I am not... also I am sure I can't do that … I just gave you a choice along with that... I also gave you a right to reject me even if it's rude I don't care... you have all the right to hurt my heart ... but if you want to heal my physical pain so desperately then you must surely have love feelings else don't you have the common sense... that you will hurt me more if you help me anymore... in short you can neither see Mouri-san in pain nor you can see me in pain as well … I just give you a choice you must heal pains of only one among us who do you chose?"

"I don't know certainly...why you are comparing the things" he asked in dilemmic shame

"Yeah I think only with brain & I am heartless...I think this is good for an answer... what say?..." she calmly stated

"For heaven sake Haibara!...what is wrong with you... let me ease your pains" he cried desperately for her to understand...

"Well... I will consider your help if you are certain about the answer... you can't see Mouri-san in any pain both heart and physical... but you can see & as well as give me & my heart more pains ... so help me and hurt me more... I won't stop you now" she gave up finally in a twisted corner...

He immediately said "I still don't know certainly... to me Ran and you are equal apart from the fact I knew Ran more than you and for a long time...So I have strong feeling for her" he gave his reason...

"Listen Kudo... feelings get strengthen due to time... injuries get healed by time... but to fall in love the parameter is not time dependent is it?...if it is then assume that I don't or I can't love you...else tell me can you honestly answer me... who loves you more is it me or Mouri-san?... once again this comparison is not logic based... but the only Logic you may foolishly consider is that my fate is to be at fault not to meet you earlier to get your love... In short overall it implies I am destined for pains... so why try to heal my injury as a fool huh... You stay away... assuming that I am all cool... or answer Me who loves you more is it me or Mouri-san... can you really answer to this... if yes then give a reason" she gave a big consideration very formal and coldly directed to all points

He understood her points "Hmm...even as per your consideration... I can't be certain yet... because Ran, I can see her heart... it's fully transparent... but your heart I cannot see a thing... I was never able to read or get through you... how much ever I tried... I failed... I always failed...can you tell me why?" he curiously asked

She smiled and answered with a smirk and good phenomenal body language "Well possible reasons are 1) For a Sherlockian like you... 'A person can never see what is in the heart of the one he loves' ... means that you love me.  
or 2) It could also mean you failed to see through... me since you eventually gave up on trying... means you are a failure even as a friend so blame yourself.  
or 3) I am so cold that its impossible for any intrusions in short nobody can see my heart due to my facades... since I was not born or lived in casual world... so no body can possibly understand me due to my dark world...means my life is at fault so blame my fate.  
Select a genuine reason among any of these three and heal my pain don't worry about my heart  
Also in any case... if the first statement is true then it means that you must pity on Mouri-san and her feelings towards you... also may be you consider yourself in her debt for making her wait for long... but I want to say this... I love you & I want to see you happy... same like Mouri-san, she is listening to us from my room"

Ran came out and calmly gave a questioning look...

Conan was speechless "Ran!... " after a certain time... he muttered "Ah...well...you want to know why..."

Both recalled London's confession incident...

Ran slowly stated "Shinichi!... tell me is the first statement true..."

Conan nodded...

Ran cried...

Ai smiled...

For a happy ending

Both Ai - Conan kissed

Later Ai added "Kudo-kun... if I tell you there's no antidote will you believe me..."

Conan smiled and whispered "Yeah unless if you are lying..."

Ai concluded wisely "I tested your blood... the Antidote's doesn't work for you anymore due to developed immunity in fact there are no APTX traces left in your blood anymore... because of the last temporary antidote and excess use of antidote's since the time you started taking them... however I can transform... but since I love you... I can't leave you lonely... remember once you asked me why don't you feel bad transforming into a child... I answered you since you are with me so I am calmed... therefore I cannot betray you ... hence I asked Mouri-san to help me though she knew nothing about the antidote will work on you or not... so I just wanted to verify your true feelings without pressurizing with the antidote question as a burden for relationship ... in short... it would have been a painful choice for you ...and you would have chosen as because of crisis of available options...which is a plague to life and relationships... though I was certain that if you loved Mouri-san you would have chosen her still in Conan form... also I am sure she would have accepted you as well... you can punish me if I was wrong in planning all this...just as some test"

Conan was amazed at her statements and plan... but he happily answered "So you foolishly sustained that severe Physical pain for not to give me the big pain due to the choices... huh!... well you truly deserve a punishment... how about a long kiss Miss-Density-Dames... also I am pretty impressed that you were aware of my all answers... how?"

Ai proudly replied "As Ice floats on water... you float on me … say I am denser than you... hence I can always read you... however my ice cold heart was melted by your warmth"

Ran's tears were now more a happy one than sad...

Why ?

Yeah as Conan said someone else can heal your heart...

Readers are asked to assume it was right!

[Dames= Flawless personality and character especially referred for woman's... ,A woman of refinement  
Dames=refined personality= A highly developed state of perfection; having a flawless or impeccable quality]

Conan after a long kiss quoted his query humbly "Well if the antidote was a success on me... so what would you do... would you have confessed your true feelings or let go me to Ran!...I think you would let go me right!...and once again suffering with big pains without even letting me notice it right!"

Ai sarcastically replies with a smile "No... actually I planned on killing Mouri-san hahaaaaaahahaa" she chuckles sweetly

He sweet drops in frustration and smiles with an oi oi look  
Ran blinks in surprise and smiles

Conan once again murmurs in a query "Say if I would have left you in pain during that time... I mean a rude rejection... what would you do then?"

Ai casually stated "I need not had to do anything that means you loved Mouri-san more than anything even more than the fact that you leaving me in a Pain... like Abandoning me ... for such a big love I don't think later even when I say that No antidote is for you... then too... you would have gone to her... in short it would simply mean... you both were destined to be together & I was never destined for your love..."

Conan continued his last query "But would you have taken the dote since it works for you right!..."

Ai whispered her answer "No I would have not... coz I can't betray you...and because I love you... also I am certain if it wouldn't have worked for me then you would have done the same... remembering my loneliness and calmed nature... but I can't say you would have done it due pity or due love ... and as like Mouri-san would have accepted you … someone would have accepted me… but I was uncertain if I would ever be able to smile being with someone else...other than you"

Conan was amazed at her thoughts "Wow... you can even Philosophize me... I was fooling myself all along philosophizing you all this time..."

Ai coolly concluded "Ahraa... actually I let you Philosophize me... since I enjoyed all those as your love..."

She kissed him once again it was long one...

Fable of this   
True love overcomes all kind pains... since pains imply that you pity that person instead love...

Ai knew this fact more wisely than Conan she played with him all along but all because not to hurt him...

How is it ? Do I worth asking for reviews ? If I am not selfish ?


End file.
